silhouettes

in some ways ive been lazy, i havent posted much recently, havent taken the photographs off my memory card since bells, havent felt much like posting, thinking, editing.

In other ways, super busy, fixed the dings in my surfboard, been running most nights of the week, logging 25k's a week in training for my race in september.

Ive been homesick, however thats had benefit, forcing me to look over images of my home town, listen to music "grown" there. appreciating where i come from, despite not being there right now.

And I HAVE been taking photographs, lots of them, ive been using instagram alot, just because of the convieience, but i miss the opportunities the blog gives me to explain how and why I arrive at taking the photographs i do, the thoughts that have been boucing around my head for a few days, that inspire me to go out with the camera.

One morning, a few weeks ago, the sun was low, burning the sand orange a red, and silhouettes were everywhere.

I liked these four.

a dark few days

its been a tough few days, my buddy ed left these shores, a few surf sessions tucked under his belt and many a frozen memory locked away in my mind. Good times and great waves.

It leaves me bereaved again, a strong work, but the only adjective that accurately captures the bleakness of having your longest, truest friend spend that kind of intense time with you, to be ripped asunder. He leaves a void that never gets properly filled.

To make do, I shaped myself a new board...B13, to commemorate some good times. I listened to moseley shoals, and old blues records, and the thievery corperation whilst I shaped and glassed. Its not the neatest of works, but im happy with it, its rough around the edges glassing wise, which is kind of how i felt whilst i made it. I reckon it'll go good.

surfing...and

my surf last night was one of the good ones.

I got home from work a little early, the lucky ones who had the day off had had their fill, the beach had quietened, and the wind had gotten good - a gentle NE, grooming the small waves, a few peaks up and down the beach. the tide was a little full, so the backwash was creating some speedbumps to nagivate, but as the afternoon became early evening, the tide pulled out, and things got good.

I was left of boat ramp, my favorite little spot at main when its small, getting those loooooong runs down to the far stairs.

Shared a few with a quiet, understated super logger, Robbie - robbie has a quiet elegance when he rides, picks his waves well, and is quick and nimble on his feet, and a super dude to boot - fun trading waves and talking boards with someone who likes their equipment refined but simple.

We both had a little handplane session after too, which was nice...i love the feeling that a good bodysurf gives you, so different to surfing, but easily its equal.

So, im fueled up, satisfied, but not completely, because can you ever be?

Now, i have tomorrow off - and the forecast is for 2ft and NW, so im eager and excited and hungry for some more...and this is dangerous - expectations are the mother of all fuckups.

Since no post is complete without a pic, here's me and the missus, waves or no waves, she's the constant joy...

check the rad cardigan - pommie's stylin!

hiatus

So there have been few posts recently - ive been consumed between homesickness, catching up on waves, solitude - expansion of interests, pea and ham soup and things autumnal.

Ive taken very few photographs of late - despite the wonderful season, the colours, the sunrises, the rain, nothing has caught my lens.

This weekend just past, I stood beside the road up in the Grampians, and looked down on a mist covered lake, the sun hitting the clouds below me...sometimes the camera can never capture what the eye and then, the mind perceive. So i shot a few anyways, for reminders of what it REALLY felt like.

Heres the examples, doing little to conjour up the mood:

 nice to be amongst some topography again - reminiscent of blighty

golden hour

Regardless of all that... it was nice to get away from it all....sleep in the van, burn a few logs eat from the saucepan, and scope out some climbs. its been great to get back into climbing, pushing myself in new/old ways, reminding and rediscovering and pulling tendons and using my body in other ways. 

I feel obligated to use my body...because I can, and have been reminded visceraly that some cant, and may never be able to. its a humbling reminder:

my beautiful wife - companion on this adventure

 cold - but alone, and beautiful

 worth the walk

long and short, this pommie is happy, for now...and trying to embrace it all and stay humble and centred.

nowheresickness

im sat in the business lounge of birmingham airport, having scored an upgrade to business class for the first leg of my flight, its a great way to ease into the journey, the food is good, the beer is free - im calm.

The weather outside this window is worsening, the wind picking up, bringing with it dark grey clouds and rain, hammering into the floor to ceiling glass in front of me. im calm.

the thought of home is confronting - home...a word with which i am troubled by..

"But I'll tell you the reason you couldn't get home
Cause there's nowhere you've been and it's nowhere you're going
Home is only a feeling you get in your mind
From the people you love and you travel beside" stornoway

So, where does that leave me. Im leaving those i love, those that have seen me through the most troubled parts of my mind. Home isnt where im going, but now, it isnt where ive left, im travelling alone, today.

but i do have people i love, family, all of them, friends, all of them, here and there - but im torn, perpetually, and misunderstood, perpetually.

Im embracing it, im befriending it....which is why...im calm         whilst inside a small piece of me is racked with
                                                                                                                                 the pain of leaving, ripped apart.

 home.......?

 home........?

wishes

i wish i could shake this odd feeling...it ephemeral - impossible to define today, articulation is just out of m grasp - but its unsettling me

also, much more pressing...i wish i took this picture...

how awesome is this
Photograph by Mark Tipple

thoughts

I'm not sure what kind of surfer i am, I'm even less certain what kind of "person" i am. I know that i have a pretty poor work ethic, but am enthusiastic and passionate and committed to some things in my life. Surfing is one of them, but its just one of them. Cooking for friends, my wife, taking pictures, writing with a fountain pen, these are other passions. But surfing eclipses most of them, i don't know why, not sure that i want to know, theres a mystery to it, an unconscious 'drive'.

There are some days when i don't feel like riding waves, even when they are small and clean and good - some days i just don't want to ruin the great waves i have in my mind with the waves i will ultimately ride, poorly.

Im not a great surfer, but i do love what i can do. Im barely above an average surfer, but i think im getting better. I know what I like, small waves, no bigger than me, with just a few others to share them with, these times are getting rarer - im becoming less interested in surfing "those" spots, most people know where i like to go, it might not be great, its slow, but sometimes its just me out there. Those days are rarer still.